GOING INWARD

 

You’re either observing Your reality 
Or you’re creating it


You’re either observing 

Your reality 

Or you’re creating it

But you’re absolutely

Never

Doing both

It’s fine to be aware

Of what’s going on

In the world

But 

If you give 

All your attention 

To it

Then not only

Are you not

Giving your attention

To your own life

But you’re also

Not changing

Anything 

About the world

Don’t get me wrong

To some extent

We do need to be aware

So on the face of it

There’s nothing wrong with that

But there’s

An even deeper truth

That I’ve learned

Which is that 

In order to change 

The world

We have to change 

Ourselves

This sounds easy

On the surface

But it’s not

Because in order 

To change ourselves

We have to work

From the inside out

And because

If you commit deeply

To this work

You will realize

That it never ends 

Which also means

If you committed deeply

To this work

You don’t have time

For distractions

I understand 

That this reality

Is very compelling

And I know

There are many

MANY 

Things

Not right

With this world

But that right there

Is actually

All the more

Reason

To commit

To the inner work

Because this is truly

The only way

To Shift 

To alchemize

To bend

And to alter 

The reality 

We perceive 

And experience 

So yes
Do acknowledge

What troubles you

About the world

But use your pain

Your anger

Your passion

To fuel your impact

To Expand 

Your heart 

Not to contract it

Joy is your natural state

It’s time for you to remember 

To our collective growth,

Tara x

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Tara Daylami

Plagued by the kind of sensitivity (and awareness!) you almost wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy, I spent most of my childhood in a state of hyper-vigilance and inability to handle to slightest of criticisms. By my teenage years, this sensitivity had successfully matured to a full-blown rage which nothing -- and I mean NOTHING -- could console until, at 16, I was FINALLY introduced to illicit drugs (the likes of cocaine and ecstasy -- and, if you like, house music) which finally began to ameliorate what by this point could only be described as ACUTE PSYCHIC PAIN. But the story doesn't end there. I continued on. With hallucinogenics. With relationships. With theft. With alcohol. With lies and deceit and betrayal and infidelity for another 10 years. In the meantime, I graduated college (on time) and worked full time. I even met and got engaged to an amazing guy. But absolutely nothing could touch the emptiness I felt inside. And so I did what most people who can hardly stand to be in their own skin do: I sabotaged. I destroyed anything and everything that "threatened" to come close. That threatened to love me. Nothing terrified me more than being "found out" for who I really believed I was inside. Empty. Hollow. While, simultaneously, nothing terrified be more that the thought that no one ever would find out.

Oh and throughout all this, I might mention, I also returned to school to pursue none other that a career as a psychotherapist. It was as illogical then as it probably sounds to you now. But I can tell you this. That decision was made (with the help of my then fiancé) in 2003, and as I (metaphorically) sit before you today, I can hardly recognize that girl. Sure, our Soul may be eternal and never-changing, but for all practical purposes, who I was and the way I showed up in the world in virtually no way resembles the person I am today. I spent my 20s effectively destroying almost everything that crossed my path. And I spent most of my 30's trying to scrape off the last residue of guilt that the previous decade left on my soul. I would be lying to you if I said it hasn't been painful. Because it has. BUT! The thing about it is that everything is different now. All the work I have done over the last several decades. Because -- despite being a spinning ball of chaos for the first 35 years of my life -- I have ALWAYS KNOWN deep down inside that I was destined for more. A LOT MORE. And the thought of that terrified me as well.