fasting

THE SHADOW

 

WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO BEFRIEND IT


Many of us have heard the saying

“What you resist, persists”

 

This is probably one of the best ways

To describe the nature of our human shadows

 

Our shadow is essentially the part of ourselves

That we do our best to keep hidden

Because we find it shameful &

Unacceptable in some way

 

The problem with the shadow 

— and with the notion of a purely

‘Positive Psychology’ approach to life — 

 

Is that the things we don’t confront &

Come to terms with, within ourselves 

Don’t just go away or die off on their own

 

In fact, they usually persist

And they show up in our lives 

In all kinds of sneaky and sabotaging ways 

— such as various forms of mental illness,

low self esteem, chronic pain, anxiety, addictions,

and a whole host of other experiences ranging from

painful to downright excruciating 

 

If you don’t know what your shadows are

— and yes we ALL have them — 

I’d encourage you, over the next few days,

to really start paying attention to what triggers 

you in other people, especially qualities/behaviors/etc

that you find yourself routinely annoyed, irritated, or 

otherwise offended by

 

The things that we strongly dislike in others

Are typically a good reflection of the parts of ourselves

That we have either disowned or not fully integrated yet

(I explain this further in examples below)

 

And the biggest indicator of our shadows 

Are the things that make us defensive

 

If you’re interested in going deeper on this

You can look up the works of 

Swiss Psychoanalyst 

Carl Jung

 

STEPS FOR BEFRIENDING YOUR SHADOW

 

MINDFULNESS

 

In order to do this work

You need to have a basic

Capacity for introspection

As well as a willingness to be honest

With yourself

 

The fact that you’re reading this 

Is indication enough that you have

What it takes to embark on this journey

 

COMPASSION (FOR YOU)

 

Like I always tell my clients

We strive to do all this work 

From a place of Self Compassion

 

In fact, you will need A LOT of Self Love

And compassion

 

Because this work is not for the faint of heart

But it makes life so much richer

That it’s absolutely worth doing

 

SILENCE & CENTEREDNESS

 

If you are in the middle of a trigger

Or are having an emotionally charged

Response to something

 

This is not the moment to grab 

Your pen and journal

And start trying to dig deeper

 

The first step in the midst of 

Any strong emotion

Is to (re)find your center

 

If you’re in the middle of an interaction

That feels heated, or feels like it could 

quickly escalate

 

Step away if possible

Take a walk

Get some fresh air

Take a few deep breaths

 

If you feel super triggered

Try noticing the various objects

Around you, and start naming them

Out loud

 

If you’re outside, do the same

With the trees, flowers, plants, the sky

 

Point being, that we cannot engage

In the deeper work until we can reclaim

Our emotional center

 

Once you feel like you can  

See straight again

Move onto the next step 

 

GETTING COMFORTABLE

 

Find a quiet place

Where you will not be interrupted

Grab a blanket, some pillows

A cup of tea or whatever

Your favorite beverage is

 

Get comfortable with a pen, journal

Or a few pieces of paper

 

I’m including this piece

Because doing shadow work

Is challenging enough as it is

 

And because learning to cultivate

Both quiet moments and comfortable spaces

For ourselves is, in and of itself, also an act

Of Self Love

 

WRITE & RECORD

 

Be willing to be honest

With yourself

 

Remember that our refusal 

To acknowledge the parts of 

Ourselves that we deem unworthy

Ugly or unacceptable 


Don’t just go away on their own

 

We need to acknowledge them

And actually befriend them

 

When we do so, they learn to trust us

 

They become willing to tell us

Where we still hurt

Where we still carry pain

And where we still have healing

We get to do

 

But if we shame these aspects of Self

They stay away, in hiding, and we never

Benefit from all the wisdom they have for us

 

So, having said that

Here are some questions 

To journal on to get you started:

 

What are my strong reactions usually about?

Are there any themes I can see?

Are there certain people, or qualities, that usually upset me?

Are there certain traits I find unacceptable in others?

What emotions tend to come up for me?

Is it sadness, anger, lust, jealousy, rage or some other emotion?

What do I consider my positive qualities?

What are the OPPOSITE of these qualities?

 

This last question is SUPER important

 

Why!?

 

Because every quality has it’s opposite

 

For example, if I consider myself

An honest person 

And ‘lying’ really triggers me

 

It means I probably don’t fully own 

The part of myself that’s capable of being 

Less than 100% truthful at times

 

Another example would be

If I consider myself a disciplined person

It might be that I don’t own the part of myself

That has the capacity for rest 

 

Important Note:

Notice that the shadow opposite 

Of discipline 

Is laziness

 

BUT.. 

 

Like everything else

Even the shadow side of laziness

Carries its opposite as well

 

In this case, it’s the ability to rest and relax

 

So the question here would be

Where am I still denying myself 

The permission to take a break?

 

Shadow Work is super complex
And it’s not something that you are 

Ever going to be fully “done” with

 

It’s an ongoing unfolding

 

But the idea is to become

Familiar enough with your triggers 

That they no longer rule your life

Just below the level of your awareness

— aka consciousness

 

Joy is your natural state

 

It’s time for you to remember 

 

To our collective growth,
Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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CREATING FASTER

 

CREATING FASTER: THE MINDSET OF SUCCESS


It’s time to dig deep

Into the world we actually

WANT to create 

 

It’s time to take 

The reality that “IS”

And replace it with 

The reality that we desire 

 

In order to do this

We must be willing

To become experts 

On Self

 

We must become willing 

To practice

The art of discernment

 

The discernment to know

Where we are — within every 

aspect of our lives —

And the willingness

To act on that discernment 

 

After all

Most everything 

In life

Involves paradox

Balance

And the ability

To move within 

Various shades of grey

 

You have to know

When it’s not only Ok

But necessary

To look at the evil 

In the world

 

And you have to know

How long to look at it for

 

You have to remember

— should you choose 

to be the true creator that

you came here to be —

That the things we don’t like

 

The things that hurt our hearts

 

Are there so that we can choose

More decisively 

What we DO want instead

 

This reality is about contrast

But what you do with that contrast

Is - and will always be - entirely up to you

 

You have to know

Which relationships 

And people

Are worth fighting for
And which are worth

Walking away from

 

Nobody outside of you

Will ever be able to give you

The answers to these questions 

 

Or be able to tell you

What your life purpose is

YOU and only you must be willing

To turn within, to fully and 

Completely lean into your 

Own pain and suffering

 

And to trust that it was

Not put on your heart in vein

 

You must CHOOSE to step 

Into your own power

 

And yes this is simply a choice

A choice that only you can make

 

You cannot be a victim of circumstance

And a creator of your reality at the same time

 

But once you do choose

Once you decide

The Universe will also

Step in and fully support you

 

Suggestions For Increased Clarity:

 

  1. Fasting

 

Look into a physical cleanse

Or detox of some kind

 

These aren’t hard to find

And don’t have to be complicated

 

Even juice or fruit fasting 

Is a great — and not terribly 

painful — way to reset your system

 

And since so much of our 

Reality is experienced through 

This body

 

It’s best to tend to your vessel

And love on it

As much as you can

 

Like anything else

It’s a practice 

 

And like anything else

You’ll enjoy it more

And get better results

If you can hold it lightly

Not beat yourself up for

Not being ‘perfect’

And release the habit 

Of comparing yourself

To other people

 

  1. Journal 

 

Take some time every day

To write about the life

And the world

You would love to see

 

Write using all your senses

Write about how it feels

To be this next version of you

Living the life of your dreams


Write about where you live

What you do for a living

The gifts that you choose to share

With the world

 

How you spend your time 

And so forth

 

Do your best to write freely

And without the constraints 

Of our outdated human programming

Which loves to tell us what is 

And isn’t “possible”

 

I promise you

It’s all possible

But you have to see it first

 

  1. Environment

 

Take a really good look

At the people you hang around

And the activities you spend 

Your time on

 

As you already know

We are the average 

Of the five people
We spend the most time with

 

So spend your time wisely

Be willing to cut out

— or r at least cut back — 

On activities that truly 

Don’t serve you or the life
You wrote about above 

 

This reality requires 

Aligned thoughts AND actions

 

Aligned actions that match

The energy and frequency 

Of our dreams

 

That is the only way

For them to materialize 

 

And materialize they will

 

But you have to be willing

To Focus 

In order to bring them about

 

Joy is your natural state

It’s time for you to remember 

 

To our collective growth,

Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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